The Shocking Hair Discovery That Has Changed My Life… And Could Change Yours Too

The Vicious Cycle

For years, my hair colorists and stylists have asked me “What’s your hair like when it dries naturally?”  My response has always been “Disastrous.”  That’s because for the last decade at least it’s been half-wavy but only underneath by my neck, I have a cowlick in the back, a lot of dry strands that kind of poof out all over, and it’s wonky around my face but still kinda straight on the sides.  I always have to blow dry it and use a ceramic hair straightener before I can leave the house.  Admittedly, all this heat styling is very tough on my already chemically-processed hair, and I have a lot of breakage as a result.  The breakage adds to the frizz and thus causes even more need for the straightener.  It’s a vicious cycle.  But despite the disaster of the natural dry, I’ve still always identified as a person with straight hair.

Straight from the Start

This was not just wishful thinking, mind you.  I really did have naturally straight hair once.  As a baby my hair was blonde and straight (as you can see below) and even as a little girl there was never a curl in sight.  It actually looked pretty damn good back then!  It was even naturally voluminous, and with literally ZERO effort involved.  But somewhere around adolescence everything went to shit.  My head grew faster than the rest of my body, I had nonstop acne for a decade, and my hair started to go south.

From about sixth grade through college, I experimented.  With zero regard for the shape of my face, I chopped it short (bad idea).  I was given massive bangs (worse idea).  I dyed it red, strawberry blonde, bleached blonde, and various shades of brown.  I also wasted many an evening pulling countless strands through those infamous do-it-yourself beached highlight caps, only to end up looking like I was going prematurely grey at fifteen.  Honestly there are very few photos of me from these years, and with good reason.

Oh Ceramic Flat Iron, How I Love Thee

Then one day in college I went for a hair cut and the stylist used a ceramic flat iron on my strands for the first time…  This was LITERALLY a life changing moment.  I’d been using a metal-plated straightener, unsuccessfully, for years.  It burned the hell out of my hair but did little else.  What was this heaven-sent ceramic tool?!  It was a miracle.  Suddenly: uniformity!  Smoothness!  The appearance of an actual “style”!  I was genuinely overjoyed.  I’ve used a flat iron nearly every single day of my life since.

A Quarantine Silver Lining

In fact, until about six months ago, straightening was the ONLY thing I knew how to do to my hair.  A latecomer to the world of YouTube instructional videos, I finally figured out how to add loose curls using the flat iron.  However, I quickly realized that was damaging my already-fried strands even more.  When quarantine hit I nearly abandoned styling altogether and very much enjoyed the extra hour in my day that was no longer spent trying to look presentable.  Mostly I just put it up in a ponytail or a bun because to leave it down to air dry was not an option.  With the lack of attention though, my hair health seemed to improve.  It grew a little longer (also a decade-long challenge due to constantly battling color-fried ends) and even seemed a bit thicker.  Quarantine silver lining: my cosmetic laziness was maybe actually doing my locks some good.

Natural Disaster

Then a few weeks ago I figured what the hell, I’ll just let it air dry and see how bad it gets.  I put a little oily serum in to try and keep the frizz down and some hair cream I found under my sink that probably expired three years ago.  To be honest, I’ve tended to think of hair products a little like facial moisturizers.  They all make these big promises, and yet I almost never notice much of a change.  Sure, some conditioners make my hair a little softer when I rinse them out.  Some creams make my hair feel “dirtier” faster.  But I’ve never invested serious time or effort in products because at the end of the day, my hair has always ended up the same: flat iron straight… or disastrous.  This was a disastrous day.

 

The results of towel dried hair, brushed through and left to air dry
with the help of just a little hair oil and smoothing cream. 

WTF is CGM?

One of my dearest friends and acting coaches, Jordana, started an IG account earlier this year about her hair.  She has always had beautiful curls, and she decided to transition them to her natural color which looks amazing (her IG is @CurlySilverLox).  I followed the account because I adore her, but I never knew what the heck she was talking about.  “Plopping,” “flaxseed gel,” “refresh”… It might as well have been written in Greek.  I just knew her hair looked awesome, and that my hair looked nothing like hers.  I didn’t have curls, so surely all this hair lingo didn’t apply to me.  And yet, every day there was her glowing happy face and perfect ringlets with more comments about the “Curly Girl Method” (CGM) world.

On this aforementioned fateful air-dry day, I was Zooming with my parents.  I let my hair dry throughout the course of the conversations and in that little selfie video box in the corner watched it go from wet and nicely brushed to that old familiar mixed-bag-mess.  It was time for a hair “hail Mary.”  I sent Jordana a text, suggesting that if she was ever in search of content ideas for her IG post, I would love a beginner’s list of stuff to TRY.  Figuring it was a total lost cause, I really didn’t want to invest in a lot of new products and tools…  But I was willing to throw $20 at some hair goo.

Baby Step #1

Jordana responded to me right away with a list of instructions.  They included:

*NOT shampooing the next time I washed my hair.
*Only rinsing out 50% of my conditioner.
*Adding and leaving in some hair cream I had on-hand while wet.
*Initially drying with a t-shirt or microfiber towel using a scrunching method, then leaving to air dry all the way.

This all sounded like madness to me, and a surefire recipe for getting out of the shower with hair that was already filthy!  BUT I know and trust and adore Jordana, so I was willing to give it a try.  After all, what did I have to lose?  I hadn’t even purchased any products yet, I was just using whatever I had in my under-sink arsenal, and no one except Brad would have to bear witness to the results.  I jumped in the shower and followed her instructions, then anxiously awaited the air dry.  And wouldn’t you know, my hair actually started to get wavy… Not all the way, but a SIGNIFICANT, noticeable improvement!  In just one wash!  I was genuinely flabbergasted.  Jordana’s advice was genius!  She referred me to another IG account, @WavyCurly because her hair texture was similar to mine, and I started obsessively watching her videos.

This Girl Wants a Curl

Immediately I jumped on Amazon and ordered several curly-recommended items to start my curly journey.  At the time that I ordered, the Curls Blueberry Bliss Leave-In Conditioner was sold out on Amazon so I actually got that at Target.  The Ecoslay Orange Marmalade was also sold out so I ordered that direct from the Ecoslay website (note: it can take a week or two to get your order).  A few reviews of Denman Brushes on Amazon seemed to claim they were receiving fakes, so I ordered mine direct from the Denman website to be safe.  That also took a little longer to receive.  Below are all Amazon links so you can at least see what I bought, but of course you can purchase from your retailer of choice!

My Favorite Stuff (So Far)

 

 

 

Results

The result of my second wash (first time with curly products) was genuinely shocking to me.  At that point only the Shea Moisture Shampoo, Shea Moisture Conditioner, DevaCurl Wave Maker had arrived.  I had also made a homemade batch of flaxseed gel, only I had used flaxseed MEAL by accident (I ordered the wrong thing, oops!).  Despite straining it several times it just didn’t turn out right and, worst of all, it smelled like a dead mouse after two days in a glass jar in the shower.  It took a long time for my hair to air dry, but what a difference those few products made!  Looking at the back of my head in the mirror, my cowlick was no longer noticeable and my waves were pretty consistent.  Suddenly my once-mish-mash-mess hair was now actually in a natural style.  I couldn’t believe it.  Apparently I’m not just a straight-hair girl with BAD hair… I’m a CURLY GIRL?!?  Mind.  Officially.  Blown.

If You’re Just Starting Down This Path Too…

Since I now have all of the above items in my arsenal, I can say that each one has served a purpose and I’m happy to have them all.  But in case you’re starting out, like I was a few weeks ago, I would say the products I would recommend trying FIRST would be:

*Curls Blueberry Bliss Leave-In Conditioner (I love this, it adds softness and moisture and doesn’t feel dirty – I use this now even when styling my hair straight and I think it even adds a bit of volume.)
*DevaCurl Wave Maker (This helps add texture and volume to my waves without adding frizz.)
*Black Orchid Diffuser IF you don’t already have a diffuser AND you need to speed up drying, this is awesome (note: measure to make sure it will fit on your existing hair dryer before you order!)

AND I’d suggest one or both of these, depending on how your hair responds:
*DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel (This gel helps hold curls but doesn’t feel crunchy.)
*Ecoslay Orange Marmalade (This gel helps hold curls even more and is SUPER crunchy.)

My Routine

My current routine (and I say “routine” loosely, as I try to do something a little different every time I wash to hone in on what works for me and what doesn’t) is the following:

IN THE SHOWER

1. Shampoo scalp only with Shea Moisture Shampoo (or different shampoo) and then rinse out completely.
2. Add a lot of Shea Moisture Conditioner (sometimes I even mix a few conditioners I have in my shower to really saturate it) and leave them in as long as I can, maybe 5-10 minutes.
3. Rinse conditioner about 90% out, then squeeze hair to remove about half the water so it’s not drenched.
4. With hair still wet (and standing up straight, the head-upside-down method doesn’t work for me), add Curls Blueberry Bliss Leave-In Conditioner (dime sized amount) and use Denman Brush to brush through (note: in following other curly girl’s instructions, I removed 3 of the 7 rows from my brush, which you can do with this brand, so it’s actually 4 rows of prongs with larger gaps between.)
5. Add DevaCurl Wave Maker (dime sized amount) and use Denman Brush to brush through.  Squeeze water out again.

OUT OF THE SHOWER

1. Exit shower and add quarter size amount of Ecoslay Orange Marmalade to hair, first rubbing hands together then scrunching it into sections (make sure you don’t forget to scrunch the hair at the back of your head too!).  As you scrunch, more water may come out.
2. Next add TWO quarter-sized amounts of DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel, one to to each half of hair, following the same method as with the marmalade.
3. Use a t-shirt or microfiber towel to scrunch hair from the bottom up, removing as much excess water as possible and helping to establish curl pattern at the same time.

OPTIONAL

1. Add one or two pumps of Cantu Curling Mousse to the lower parts of the hair ONLY (I think using too much of this causes more frizz for me, especially when I diffuse dry, but I’m still experimenting with it).
2. Use Black Orchid Diffuser on hair dryer at medium heat and medium air flow to speed up drying, OR of course you can let your hair air dry if you have the time.
3. Use a TINY bit of Moroccan Oil distributed on hands (and/or t-shirt instead) to scrunch out crunchy curls.
4. This is against the “Curly Girl” rules I’m sure, but the pieces at the front of my face have suffered the most highlight color damage/breakage and are the most frizzy.  I’m leaving the house and want to look “nice”, and I’m having an extra unruly “front piece” day, I may use my little Enzo Milano Curling Iron to just set those two curls on either side of my face.  If I’m staying home then I definitely just let them do their thing to avoid that additional heat damage!

The End of the Beginning

As I hone in on better techniques, try new products, and figure out what works best for me and what doesn’t I will post follow-ups to this in case anyone is interested.  In the meantime. endless thanks to Jordana (@CurlySilverLox) for putting me on this path and to @WavyCurly for her instructional videos that were super helpful.

Also, as a side note, the pictures at the top of this page were taken five weeks apart.  The first photo was taken on the day I had my hair colored, which was two days before I did my very first curly wash attempt.  The second (shown in full below) is five weeks later (as evidenced by my dark roots), having used all the products and instructions given above.  I still have pretty straight ends because they have suffered the most damage over the years, but I’m not willing to do a big cut to rid of them.  I’m also nowhere near having this whole curly thing figured out.  BUT I hope someone else will read this, recognize this same struggle with their “straight” hair, and at least give this process a try!  Please remember it takes time and is a journey, I always want it to just “look great” but it doesn’t!  Like all good things, it takes time.

Are you already on a curly journey?  Interested in giving it a try?  I’m no expert yet but will happily answer questions about my experience, and would love to hear your recommendations as well!  Post your comments below!

I’m still learning… but making some curl progress!

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